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| I LOVE THIS CHURCH
When someone says, "I love this church,"
they usually mean, "I love coming to this
church because the people make me feel I
belong."
Suppose Jody decides to visit the
Minnetonka Church on a Sabbath morning.
Jody knows a few people by sight, but
nobody personally. So it will be important
for Jody to feel accepted. What would
make Jody feel welcome? What needs to
happen to assist Jody in connecting with
others? Since Jody is single, how can we
avoid Jody feeling lonely at church? How
will we help Jody say, "I feel I belong
here?"
People come to a particular church longing
for and hoping for a sense of belonging, a
place to call "home," people to relate to in a
meaningful way. People find little
satisfaction in the organization, the
structure, the program, the facility and the
content of the presentations at a church.
Their desires are for more profound things
than those. They are looking for a home,
for relationships. They desire community.
Joseph Myers in his book, “A Search to
Belong”, said it well: "As we search to
belong, we aren't really looking for
commitment. We simply want to connect."
Myers teaches that there are four spatial
distances that need to be considered as we
build community (connectivity) in our
church. They are:
- Public – Public belonging happens
when we share a common
experience—worship, attending the
same class, working at a work bee.
- Social – Social belonging is the "small
talk" of our relationships—spending a
couple of minutes talking to people
who sit in the same row as we do in
church, or the people we meet in the
hallway.
- Personal – Personal belonging is when
we connect through sharing some
private feelings and thoughts—a study
group, a prayer group, a home visit,
sharing a meal.
- Intimate – In intimate belonging we
share deep feelings, experiences and
thoughts. We disclose what affects us
deeply without shame—one-on-one
relationships that are based on trust
and confidence.
We all find ourselves moving among these
four places of belonging. Jody's experience with our church will begin with public
belonging: coming to worship God. Jody
will come again if some social belonging
quickly occurs. Jody will keep coming and
find a home with us if personal belonging
develops. Jody will carefully test the "trust
of openness" before entering the social and
personal spaces. When you and I do things
that invite Jody into a space (social,
personal, and eventually intimate), that
causes a feeling of belonging, we will
provide Jody with connectivity, community
and a home.
We have hospitality teams that invite
people home for Sabbath lunch, providing
social and personal space. Shawn Ellis
heads up this ministry.
We want to develop social space for
everyone by encouraging you to please
connect with those who sit around you in
church. After the first service, take a couple
of minutes to greet and talk with those next
to you, in front of you and behind you. Before and after the second service, reach
out to those sitting around you. See
relationships develop. Cultivate a sense of
community. And hear Jody say, "I love
coming to this church because the people
make me feel I belong."
--Pastor Ivan Blake |
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